Standing in the Center of Your Own Life

In the prior Living Sanely article, Coach Greg Harden named the lenses by which we should view life if we want to become more centered and effective: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Phil Jackson, for his part, urges us to expand our awareness, but isn't specific as to how we might develop this power aside from meditative practice.

Peter Koestenbaum helps here through offering four specific "lenses" (also called domains) through which we can examine ourselves and assess our values. Only through reflecting on our personal experience, he thinks, can we begin to make sense of life through all its twists and turns. 

Being centered and strong is not about ego, it's about dignity and personal power. Such individuals are authentic and strong, and live with a humility that acknowledges limits within self and others. We may have been influenced or cared for by such a person when we were younger or in a vulnerable state.

Let's launch into Peter's schematic to consider its utility in helping us deepen our perspective on life, leadership, and ourselves. 

The four poles of the diamond represent the domains of Vision, Courage, Reality, and Ethics. Balance of mind, body, and spirit requires us to understand how we are perceiving each area and how it all comes together in our lives. This represents a path for growth through a lifetime, as we seek to keep the domains in balanced view.

• Vision = Represents the passion of the creative mindset; a visionary is a master of the art of the possible. Life leadership requires a conception of the future and one's place in it. We create according to what we perceive. As Phil Jackson explained in Sacred Hoops: "Vision…represents a dream state in which anything is possible within self or any framework." 
• Reality = Life's full of boundaries, metrics, logistical challenges. Leader-realists have no choice but to grapple with reality as it presents itself. As Jackson puts it, reality "has its way with you, no matter how hard you try to control it. The trick is to experience each moment with a clear mind and open heart." He doesn't say more about the trick, so I'll say this.  Developing the capacity of "clear mind and open heart" requires courage to admit that reality will present us at times with grossly unfair, inconceivable, unspeakably tragic losses and events. Reality tests us to the very core of everything we believe about life and ourselves. Of all practices, maintaining an open mind and heart is among the most difficult. It's also infinitely worthwhile to make the effort.
• Ethics = Represent the moral principles behind human behaviors. By what principles do we live (or honestly believe we should live), for our own good and for the benefit of others? This higher level of development emerges from a leader's reflection upon a moral structure that matters to them personally. Greg Harden derives his ethical framework from his spiritual heritage. As a "lens" into our inner lives, wherever we learned them, ethics play a significant role in shaping us as human beings. Actions  speak louder than words, especially in this domain. 
• Courage = lies within the realm of the will and results in the capacity to make things happen. It boils down to the ability to take a stand and be personally responsible for one's role in an outcome... a mission-based perspective on the purpose of one's own life. Phil Jackson defines courage rather uniquely, as fearlessness born of living through soul-crushing events and then healing enough to move forward into life. As he put it, "The healing...comes from letting there be room for [anything] to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy."  Courage involves facing up squarely to life as it is, acknowledging our own vulnerabilities, and taking a stand on principle. 
• Quick note. The "poles" that connect the four traits have meaning too; they represent the natural tension between the traits. It's not uncommon for anyone to fall short in one (or more) areas. A leader may have courage, but no vision or sense of reality. Or they may demonstrate vision, a grasp of reality, and courage, but lack a moral structure. The consequences are obvious. The spaciousness of our leadership capacity weakens.  Managing this tension thoughtfully, with awareness, creates the expanded "leadership space" needed to grow into the fullness of our potential as individuals becoming ever stronger at the core.